Posted 11:38 AM by The Consultant
Yes, we are achievers! All of us! We all slog hard everyday and leave the offices at night thirsty for more! And it all makes perfect sense. It is all a part of the grand design that we have in our mind, a tiny footstep in the perfect and flawless plan that we have devised. And we are achieving it, everyday. We are zooming up those corporate ladders. We can now hear the rustle of currency growing louder in our bank accounts. We have stopped looking at the right side of restaurant menus and we don’t mind the odd shopping spree for the un-necessities. We have forgotten sunrises and sunsets, we have ignored the loved ones, we don’t know what morning breeze feels like and we can’t tell the difference between a real mango and Maaza. But, hell, we do feel a sense of fulfillment, a sense of achievement. GDP is up, so is BSE Sensex and so is the shareholder wealth. We know that we are seeing progress, nay, we are MAKING progress happen! Just look at all the quarterly results and you know what we are talking about. Are we having fun? Certainly! All this work has been one big celebration for us. And if you don’t know, hear this from us. We know the wine bottles are waiting at our early retirement parties. We have booked our world tour tickets in 2025. And yes, we know we are indestructible! Otherwise, we wouldn’t have started on this seemingly crazy path.

Posted 1:05 AM by The Consultant
Jobless#1: Hirwani retired!

Jobless#2: :O, Indian cricket will never be the same
:(
who will now keep the other spinners on their toes with compeition?

Jobless#1: heh heh
i think he got 16 in first and 1 in next 16

Jobless#2: :P

Jobless#1: he had a habit of staring at the batsmen, but discontinued it after the forward shortleg guy got annoyed of the stare
his batting exploits still send shivers down the collective spines of the fast bowlers fraternity they were never so afraid of being convicted for voulantary manslaughter
he plans to set up an academy for spinnershis academy plans to focus on catching them young
so if you 8 yrs old and total bodyweight to spectacle ratio is 4:1, go for it
Kumble has acknowledged Hirwani's contribution to his game :P
After hirwani got kicked out, Kumble quickly changed over to lenses

Posted 8:38 PM by The Consultant

Posted 12:00 PM by The Consultant
You are so intelligent, that you will always miss the obvious. You will always chase that which is elusive; you will strive forever to explain the ambiguities in other peoples’ lives. You will sell your brain to solve the problems of some John Doe you have never met and in all probability will never meet. You will create structure that will imprison chaos. Your eyes will shine with immense pleasure of intellectual maneuvers, the sheer thrill of finding that hazy line on which many have stumbled, your followers will stare at you with wonder in their eyes, listen with rapt attention and dream of following your footsteps that disappear into the blinding brilliance of success. They will smirk at those who were stupid enough to realize the obvious and drop out of the insanely fast lane. You will fondly recollect the carefree laughter, the startling touch of raindrops, the tantalizing smell of success that feels so stale & futile today. You will wonder why you never realized that the road was eternal. You will curse yourself for never stopping for that cup of tea that you thought would taste better after the travel. You will miss those treks in green jungles that you did not go to, you will long for another chance to attend that wedding you didn’t attend because of work. But it is too late. The janitor has been trying to wake you up for last 5 minutes. But then how can he, who is just intelligent enough to hold onto the post of a janitor for last 20 years, hope to succeed, where you, the crème d’la crème, failed. When they will arrive to take away the empty vessel which kept chasing the horizon, battling with the waves that were trying to guide it back to its goal, you will always regret one thing : You were too intelligent to realize the obvious.

Posted 5:20 AM by The Consultant

Posted 7:22 AM by The Consultant
Bad Luck

"Excuse me, but you just dropped your wallet!"

He whirled around and nearly snatched the wallet from my hands. Then he realised how rude it would have appeared to me.

"Thank you, Thanks a lot!!! I should have been a bit more careful."

I smiled, shook his hand and we went our separate ways.




After about two months, I was travelling in a local train. It was not that crowded. I noticed a familiar face and tried to jog my memory. He came forward.

"Hi, I am Raj. We met some time back when you restored my wallet to me."

I recognised him. He introduced the guy with him who was watching this entire episode with bulging eyes and an open mouth.

"This is my partner Ramesh. We are in the computer maintenance business. That day you really saved my ass. I was on my way to place a tender for maintenance services of a big client. I could pay the tender deposit because of you."

"Oh, so did you get the contract?"

"No, we did not. But we will get the next one soon. Oh, this is our stop. "

"Ok, see you around."

I was really puzzled by the expression on Ramesh's face. Why was he so surprised by that entire thing?? I could not figure that out.





After about six months, I was on my way to Bandra in a fast local. I got down at Bandra. As I made my way through the crowd, I saw a lot of commotion at the end of the platform. I had to fulfill my duties as a dedicated onlooker and immediately made my way to the small crowd. A couple of policemen were restraining the mob from beating up someone.

"Saala Pakitmaar!" My neighbour observed. "These scumbags should be hanged."

The police finally managed to extricate the culprit from the mob and I stared at the bloody face of Raj.

"He is not a pickpocket. He is a software professional. I know him."

Havaldar looked at me.

"You know this guy? "

"Yeah, I have met him a few times in the train. He is not a paakitmaar"

"Bhaisaab, you obviously don't know him. This is not the first time we are catching this guy. Please let us do our work. "

Raj stared at the ground. I moved out of their way and the police took him away.



I thought that it was probably the last time I would see Raj. But I was mistaken. I met him again at Bandra Station after about one year.

"Saab, can we talk for a couple of minutes? I know a good teashop here."

I looked at him for a couple of minutes.

"Ok, lets go."

I accompanied him to the teashop. He waited till we had finished our tea. Then he paid the shopkeeper.

"So, how is your business?"

"Saab, I have stopped that business for good now. I have led an honest life since I got out of jail."

"Really?"

"Saab, I am here to thank you. You have saved my life. The wallet that you returned to me the first time we met was not mine. That night I thought a lot about the life I had ben leading; but decided to carry on. The day I met you in the railway, Ramesh was about to target you. I really felt ashamed that day. I gave up this line of business and tried something honest for a while. I worked as a waiter for some time, but the money was never enough and temptation was always there."

"So you succumbed to it?"

"Haan saab. But when I stole that wallet and looked at the money inside, I suddenly felt a new resolve. I decided that I would rather starve."

"I don't understand. Weren't you caught redhanded?"

"Haan saab. I was caught when I was trying to put it back in!"

I gaped at him.

He laughed.

"Haan saab. Now I really laugh at it. Saala, my luck is really bad. I was caught redhanded only twice in 5 years, and the first time that I was doing something good for a change, this thing happened. "

Posted 11:05 PM by The Consultant
Free Education!!!???

On 17th of June, 2002, I came to IIM Lucknow. Yesterday, I attended my last lecture at IIM Lucknow. As I left the class, I felt really sad. My days at IIM Lucknow were the best days of my life so far. I had the privilege of associating with some of the most intelligent people of my generation. It was a really wonderful experience. I learnt a lot of things from a lot of people.

I am not sad because I am leaving this place. I am sad because this is perhaps the last batch that will go out of IIM Lucknow , the real IIM Lucknow as we know it. From the next year, it will be the IIM Lucknow as Mr. Murli Manohar Joshi wants it to be. The fee reduction is not the real headache. The real problem is that this maniac has an insane desire to control a wonderful institution when even an idiot could see that he doesn’t have the brains to do it.

In 1991, we started an initiative called liberalization. After 2004, Mr. Joshi wants to take us back to 1991 and maybe 1901 if possible. The recent education bill that he has come up with will sound the death knell of quality education in India. For last 57 years, we have observed one trend. The moment the government enters any sector; it kills any initiatives towards quality and competition in that sector. And the moment the Government stops interfering, it starts booming. We can thank our lucky stars that the Government didn’t try its hand at the software sector.

But it is not as if all the policy initiatives that this Government has taken are bad. The recent liberalization of insurance sector, the coming liberalization of the banking sector is good news for India. Slowly but surely we were moving towards capitalism. But we cannot hope to compete against the coming hordes of MNCs, if we do not have the right resources. That is where these initiatives of Mr. MMJ hit us hard. In the absence of a competitive education sector, we won’t have the right people to compete. I am afraid that learning astrology doesn’t exactly equip you to handle the competition.

You guys might be feeling that I am being too panicky. But don’t think that these plans of Mr MMJ wont succeed. They will succeed unless and until we all oppose them and make ourselves heard. You cannot expect the masses in villages to understand the implications of these measures. They are ignorant and may be easily hoodwinked by Mr. Joshi. The idea of controlling private schools is too good for any politician to oppose publicly. It has that ancient “beat the greedy rich pigs and help the poor” ring to it. Anyone who shows the guts to oppose that will be putting an end to his/her political career. And I do not believe that the politicians should sacrifice their careers for our sake. If we want nice things to happen to us, I guess we have to do something for it.

http://presidentofindia.nic.in/scripts/writetopresident.jsp

http://pmindia.nic.in/guestbook..htm

Try these two links.

And let’s hope that someone stops this maniac before he destroys the real competitive advantage of India i.e. Our intelligence.

Posted 7:41 AM by The Consultant
Love

The ambulance whizzed past the building. He kept staring at it for some time. The siren died away as it rocketed its way to Pune. The Mumbai-Pune Expressway was silent again. It was one of those quiet afternoons in December. There was little or no traffic on the expressway. It was a bit cold, despite the best efforts of a lazy sun winding its way to the horizon.

It was a relatively new building atop a small hillock overlooking the stretch of Mumbai-Pune Expressway. Though the construction was complete, nobody had bought any of the flats yet. The terrace still sported a few cement bags, some tools and gravel. No railing had been constructed for the terrace. He was sitting on the edge with his feet dangling in air. With one hand, he held one of the rods protruding from the construction. He kept staring at the ambulance as it sped towards the bustling roads of Pune. He turned away and stared at the Balewadi stadium. He sat there relishing the silence and gazing at the stadium. Occasionally a car would zip past the building creating ripples in the quite scene.

He was thinking about his fiancé. He recalled days when he debated whether to commit or not. Today, he was happy that he had made the right choice. He had seen so many movies. He had seen many relationships go sour. He had become a cynic. He had stopped believing that true love could exist. And today, as he savored the silence, he missed her. Every conscious moment that he spent without her seemed like a torture. He was so happy that he sometimes failed to believe that a person could be so happy.

He thought about their last meeting.

They had argued for quite a while…

“No, Priya, you are not coming there now!”

“Sanjeev, please listen to me. It is not that important a matter. It is not necessary that I do it. Nobody has specifically asked me to do it. And more importantly, I don’t want to do it.”

“Well, then I am asking you to do it. Just finish what are you doing there and then you can always come. There is always the next day, darling.”

“If we keep postponing our pleasures all the time, when do we really enjoy ourselves? Just remember what happened in Diwali. All I wanted to do was to go shopping with you. But you had some really important project.”

“Don’t digress now. What we are discussing is far more important than that. How can you just leave what you are doing for my sake? Do you really think that you wanted me to come shopping that day? Whose idea was it to buy the clothes in Mumbai instead? Wouldn’t you ask me to do the same thing that I am asking you to do now?”

And she had agreed. She looked very unhappy.
He had laughed.

“What is it, Priya? Do you think I will not wait for you?”

“Don’t say things like that. You never know what’s in store for you tomorrow.”

Then she had given him the most beautiful smile he had ever seen.

“Don’t worry dear. I will come later.”

…. He sat there staring at the setting sun. He thought about the countless evenings that they had sat huddled together watching the same sun go beyond horizon. He recalled the days when he found himself writing poetry, the days when he would wait for her at Vaishali Restaurant….

“You are always late! Do you know boring it is?”

“Oh, I am sooo sorry, Sanjeev. I will make it up for you. Do you want to eat ice-cream?”

“Oh great! Now my time is worth an ice-cream cone. Do you know how much the company pays me per hour? 400/- Rs. Per hour! “

“That’s because you are here in India and they don’t want to pay salaries to American workers. Convert it to dollars and you are making just 10$ per hour. That is just about the minimum hourly wage rate in San Francisco.”

“Oh, why did I choose an educated girl? You know how much dowry I command in the market right now?”

“Then why don’t you go ahead and take that dowry? You can buy lot more ice-cream cones.”

“But then who will marry the educated girl? Who will take her to Sinhagad Fort on a rainy day?”

“Wow! Lets start right now or it will rain!”

“I do hope that it will rain.”

…And then both of them were sitting under a tree that offered them no protection from the incessant rains or the fierce wind. No words were necessary. All they could hear was their hearts beating together.

…He suddenly felt very lonely without Priya. It always happened to him. Whenever she was not with him, he felt this insane desire to drop everything he was doing and rush to meet her. Today, he wanted to do the same thing. It had been very difficult for him to say those words to her.

“Hello, darling! How many times have I told you not to sit like that? You had promised me that you wont sit like this ever again.”

He got up quickly and within moments, she was in his arms.

Stars twinkled in a cloudless sky. Now that the last rays of Sun had disappeared behind the hills, the moon was able to make its presence felt. The highway was still quiet.

“Sanjeev, we are meeting after exactly 8 hours. Someone might think that we are meeting after years of separation.”

He did not say anything. He just stood there, holding her close to his heart. When he spoke, his voice was heavy.

“Why did you come? I had told you not to come like this.”

“Sanjeev, I have kept my word. Now, Let’s forget all that.”

He tightened his embrace. She smiled and comforted him…

…Both were now sitting on the edge. They were not holding onto any rods. They were just holding each other.

“It will be a wonderful, wonderful day when we get married. Finally, it will be just me and you.”

“Yes, Priya. I am waiting for that day when our life together will begin.”

“Aren’t we together right now?”

“But there are things that I cannot do now. Once we get married, I can do those things.”

“Ohhhh, what do you have in your nasty mind Sanjeev?”

“Okay, but don’t laugh. I want to come home early from work some day and make your favourite pohe so that I can see the look on your face when you come home to find me waiting for you with a steaming cup of coffee and plate of pohe. I want to keep watching you when you fall asleep in front of the television. I want to see that harassed look on your face when you are scurrying around in the kitchen on a Monday morning. I want to stay late at the office without calling you so that I can listen to your angry words that cannot hide the worry in your heart. I want to wake you up by squirting cold water on your face on a Sunday morning. I want to see you play with our first child while being completely oblivious to the fact that I exist. I want to see the proud look on your face when our children do well at school. I want to comfort you when our last child leaves our home. I want to see the look of concern on your face when I am hospitalized for some minor surgery. I want to suffer with you, dance with you and live with you all my life. I want to feel sad one day that I can live this life just once.”

“…….”

The moon shone in a cloudless sky. The world slept as these two dreamt their lives together for eternity.

……………………………………………………………


A news item in Pune Times on the next morning….

Pune Couple Killed in Tragic Accident on Mumbai-Pune Expressway

A Pune couple putting the final touches on their January wedding died tragically yesterday afternoon when a truck slammed into their Santro on Pune Mumbai Expressway.

23-year-old Priya Gadgil and 25-year-old Sanjeev Vaidya were travelling to Mumbai to do some shopping for their upcoming wedding. Both sustained serious injuries in the accident. Sanjeev died in the ambulance while Priya succumbed to her injuries in the hospital…

Posted 12:58 PM by The Consultant
Happiness

He was staring out of the window. There had been a small accident in the street below. He could see the two tiny drivers get out of their toy cars. He could see them arguing with each other. Probably they would fight, he hoped. For next five minutes, they were just yelling at each other. He got bored. He sighed and looked up at the sun. It was 4.30 pm. Sun was moving relentlessly towards a blue sea. There were no clouds in the sky. He scanned the sea for any vessels. He could not find any. He gazed at the sea for some time, then again shifted his gaze to the accident below. Damn, he had missed the fight. There was a small crowd down there. He could see some people holding the two drivers apart. A police car came and stopped. He got bored again and moved back to his big desk.

The work was waiting there for him. Three mergers and one Euro bond issue still left! Probably Mr. Davis, his boss would call him again tonight and request his cooperation for the hostile takeover that was not moving satisfactorily. He would again have to give him a few useless tips that even he did not believe in. Mr. Davis would then start talking about his divorce, his two kids in California and how his wife was ruining his life. He would have to listen all that crap.

He decided that the work could wait a bit. He walked over to the refrigerator and took out a can of coke. He chuckled as he opened the can. Imagine an investment banker drinking coke! His clients would be aghast.

He tasted the cool liquid flowing down his throat. He closed his eyesand enjoyed the feeling. Suddenly, he realised something. This was the first time he had genuinely smiled in months. He slowly lowered the can from his lips. He stared at the floor pattern for a long time. He was in a daze. It was as if you are living a fast life like a robot and suddenly you come face to face with your soul and everything comes to a standstill. You take a long hard look at yourself. Suddenly it dawns upon you that in the rush of fast lane, you have left your life far behind and you have traveled such a distance that your soul suddenly looks unfamiliar. Some aspects of your character that you had taken for granted now seem alien. You look at yourself and shake your head in disbelief. He had felt the same way about a year back. After four weeks of sheer work, one morning, he had woken up in some hotel room after just 3 hours of sleep. He had splashed some cold water on his face and looked at himself in the mirror. At that time, he had had the same unnerving experience that he was having now. His reflection had looked at him and given a sad grin. “Where have you brought me, my friend?” the reflection seemed to ask. He had gone back to his bed in a daze. He had sat down and made plans. He had plotted out the course of his life. He would no longer tolerate any deviation. He would wrest the control of his life away from the circumstances. He would become of his own master. He would follow a path that would allow him to feel the life in him. He would no longer be on autopilot. He would make conscious efforts to enjoy his life and find the happiness. He had prepared a list of things that he was going to do in the next six months.

He tried to recall what was on that list. He could not remember anything on it. He suddenly panicked. He was losing touch with his soul. He no longer remembered what he was. He sank into his chair and organized his thoughts. This is just a temporary glitch, he assured himself. How can he forget what he wanted to do? That was just crazy.

He frantically groped for that wish list in the depths of his mind. He felt something in the darkness and pulled it out. Yes, he wanted to read some books. Books were his life once. He had read almost all the books in his town library. He would go trekking in thick, green forests, up the blue mountains and look down at glittering silver lines of streams rushing down the valley. He would sail across endless oceans in search of newer and more wonderful sunrises and sunsets. He would..

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Mr. Davis came in without asking for permission. His face was grim. The news was bad. Someone was acquiring the shares of a company that their client was targeting. The client was furious with the delay on their part. He immediately became engrossed in the discussion that ensued. He suggested a few strategies for identification of the other party. They finally decided upon a course of action and Mr. Davis left.

He thought briefly about the advice he had given. He felt that it was the best he could do. However, he felt that if he gave it some more thought, he could do a better job of it. He decided that he would finish the pending work and then rethink his strategy for the takeover.

He got back to the boring Euro Bond Issue with renewed vigour. Outside his room, another sunset went by unnoticed.

Posted 5:18 AM by The Consultant
Mr. Romeo

A couple of days ago, it happened again. Another guy got angry and shot his girlfriend. It happened in Sangli this time. This is not the first time it is happening in Sangli. About 5 years ago, the same thing had happened. But one good thing is that this time, the girl has survived the attack. Though she is still hospitalized, she is supposedly out of danger.

The story goes that the girl wanted the guy to pass his graduation exam and become independent before she married him. She happens to be a doctor while Mr. Romeo has cleared only the higher secondary exam. Mr. Romeo is 27. She is 25.

Mr. Romeo tried to commit suicide after his attack on his girlfriend. He is still alive though.

What drives these men? What is the reason that these rational human beings become so violent and crazy that they can attack their loved ones? Does it have something to do with our society, our justice (?) system or is it just another mutation in our gene pool?

It is high time that we identify the root cause and make sure that such things do not happen again and again. I cannot think of any deficiency in our system that causes such irrational behaviour. Any ideas?

Posted 11:57 PM by The Consultant
Moksha

What is Moksha? Why is it that sadhus and holy men all over the world are looking for Moksha? Why is it that people are not satisfied with the way they are living their lives? Why is it that they have to look outside their minds to find out the path to eternal happiness?

Before I launch into this discussion, I would like to thank Mr Tony Xavier for the wonderful book called “Siddhartha” by Hermann Hesse. I usually devour books in no time. But I have been reading this small 119 page book for the past three days now. It is really a wonderful book and I would recommend it to all of you. Now the discussion that follows has nothing to do with the book, so do not think that it is necessary to have read the book beforehand.

Now back to the discussion. Why do people want to achieve Nirvana? Why is it that people find it necessary to leave all the worldly pleasures for this pursuit? Why is it that the Sansara is something to be abhorred by those who wish to achieve Nirvana?

The mankind has been seeking the eternal happiness for a long time now. What I want to know is how essential is this goal to the human society as a whole? Do meditations, rituals really bring us closer to the One? Is it not an utter waste of time and resources? Is the quest for nirvana really more important than our duties and responsibilities to the society? Is not a person engaged in meditation evading his duties to the society or to his family? I agree that individual independence and freedom of choice is a fundamental right, but is it also not a fact that a person receives so much from his family and the society that he has some obligations towards that society and family? In Puranas, we read about young men who leave their families for the quest of eternal truth or nirvana. Are they not doing something wrong? Are they not dodging their responsibilities?

We have also read about people like Buddha, Mahaveer, Sant Dnyaneshwar who have attained Nirvana? Now I don’t want to hurt anybody’s religious sentiments here. But I have a genuine doubt? Is it really true that they achieved eternal happiness? I mean how different is this process of attainment of nirvana from brainwashing yourself? Suppose, I meet some person tomorrow who says that he has found eternal happiness. How do I tell that he has indeed done so or he is living in some unreal world that exists only in his imagination? Is this process of meditation, is this process of thinking and convincing yourself that I belong to God or He is in me, He is everywhere etc. some sort of brainwashing, deluding yourself?

Why can’t people just enjoy their lives, do the best they can in their professional and personal lives and may be give something back to the society if they believe that they owe something to it and be content? Are we not trying to complicate an already complicated issue instead of just simplifying it?

Any answers???????

Posted 8:00 PM by The Consultant
The Marine Engineer

Observing people is not really a hobby of mine. I am usually engrossed in my thoughts. But about a week back, I had a chance to observe something that I felt was quite charming in its own way.

I was going back to Sangli for my term break and I boarded the Mahalaxmi Express at Kalyan. Just as I was settling down on my window seat, another guy came in. He was about 40-45 years old. He was very fair and had a black walrus moustache. He wasn’t very tall, maybe around 5-5 or 5-6. He had a gruff expression on his face and looked ready to explode. He sat down, took off his black shiny shoes. Then he took off his socks, loosened his belt to give more breathing space to his bulging tummy. He gave a sigh, closed his eyes and relaxed his tired body. I could literally see the tension on his face fade away as he sank into the seat. After some time he opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling.

It was at this time that I noticed something strange. He had a tattoo on his right arm. I expected some god or maybe some army thing. But it was a heart with an arrow, with names on each end of the arrow. [The signs that we usually witness on historical monuments.]

He saw me staring at it with surprise and gave me an embarrassed smile. He introduced himself. He was a marine engineer from Kolhapur employed in merchant navy. We had a nice chat after that. After some time, I told him that I was really surprised by that tattoo. I told him that going by his whole character, the last thing that I expected was a heart.

Then he laughed and told me how he got that tattoo. He once went overboard during one of his trips to Australia. Nobody was on the deck at that time and no one was expected for at least half an hour. He could see the ship moving away from him leaving him to his watery grave. But suddenly, he could see someone on the deck scanning the sea. Fortunately, the guy spotted him and soon he was rescued.

The only reason that guy came on the deck was to inform him that a message was received from his wife. Our hero was now the proud father of a daughter.

He said that after coming back to India, the first thing that he did was to get this tattoo. His name was on one side and his daughter’s name was on the other side.

Posted 1:16 PM by The Consultant
Wow!!!!!

Finally, I have done it! Another feather in my cap!!!

I was going through the referrals on the site meter site. Somebody searched for “poor jokes pjs” on google. And guess what?

I was 7th on that list!!!

There was only one individual who was ahead in the list. Mr. Gaurav Jalan has put up some jokes on his site. He has stated that those are poor jokes. Mr. Jalan, if you are reading this, let me point out with utmost regret that none of those jokes were poor. They made me laugh. Okay, as it is my opinion, that might not be the litmus test, but I am quite sure that you all will feel the same way.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank google. As far as pjs go, I have no or little competition.

Posted 7:26 AM by The Consultant
I am Back!!!

It has been such a long time. I have missed blogging regularly. Everyday, I looked at my blog, thought about it and then changed my mind. The commitments that I had made were far more important.

One amazing thing about blogging is that once you start doing it regularly, you become your worst critic. You think twice about each and everything that you want to put there. You want it to be just perfect.

Another thing. If one takes a bit of break from blogging, enforced in my case, one, kind of, misses one’s blog.

Last couples of weeks were really hectic. My club, Abhiyan, IIM Lucknow entrepreneurship cell, organized a nationwide competition for innovative business ideas. It was moderately successful. One of my classmates, Mr. Balark Banerjea won the contest with a fantastic idea.

To add to the workload, we had some rather big project submissions. So it was hectic even for a workaholic like me. :-)
I will be blogging regularly from now on, I hope.

I scanned my blog with PJ detector and to my horror discovered that I had not cracked any PJs for a long time. So I decided to go back to the theme called, “Picchhur, the Phillum”.

Readers may recall that some time in May there were a few stories on Gaurav’s blog as well as mine that discussed this concept. Now that we have decided that we are not going to do anything about it, I have decided to publish some of these stories. For people who are reading about this concept for the first time, let me explain in few words. It is or rather was a spoof that we had planned on Hindi movies and the predictable scenes in it.

So here are a few scenes that I am printing. I know that the claims that I made in the 2nd paragraph might sound hollow now, but then nobody is perfect.

Enjoy…

1.
The party has just begun. It is the usual party song where the hero moves around with hands in his pocket or nursing a glass of whiskey and singing about his sufferings due to the betrayal of heroine and how he is bravely taking it all without any complaints whatsoever etc. and the heroine moving around looking suitably crestfallen with the Mr. Nice Guy who will be giving up the heroine for the Hero’s sake or catch a bullet shot at the hero when he finds out the truth about the hero and heroine. Wow, what a long sentence! :-)
But this song is rather different. Our hero and heroine and Mr. Nice Guy are at the party looking very confused. There is another guy crowing about the agony of betrayal and another woman and her companion playing the parts of heroine and Mr. Nice Guy to perfection.

The hero finally gets sick of being confused and angrily accosts one of the important looking blokes there and asks with barely controlled fury,” What the hell is going on here? I thought we were supposed to sing a song here” The heroine and the Nice Guy vigorously nod their assent to the accusation. The bloke looks utterly uninterested in the proceeding. He informs them that those people were there first and have a right to have their song completed first.

By the time the song gets complete, the Nice Guy has come to know the truth and in the regrettable absence of any bullet shot at the hero has to satisfy himself to one rather small speech disclaiming that he is making any sacrifices and walks away with a smile on his face that fails to hide his misery. But just then, another girl who is walking away with a similar expression on her face bumps into him. They stare at each other and the Jodi is fixed. She, of course, is the female version of Mr. Nice Guy who has just sacrificed her love for some hero at another party.

2.
The hero is injured and lodged in the hospital. The red light outside the operation theatre is on and the parents and the heroine are eyeing it rather anxiously. A few nurses keep hurrying in and out of OR with trays or other such medical instruments. They refuse to answer any queries that the family has.
The music emphasizes the tension in the air. Finally the light goes off and the doctor comes out looking exhausted. The heroine immediately asks the doctor,” Kya Hua?”
The doctor looks irritated and states that the electricity has gone off and that has interrupted the operation. He is waiting for the generators to start.

3.
The sister and the mother and the heroine have been kidnapped and the villain informs the hero on the telephone and also gives him the details regarding the place where they have been kept. The hero makes some audacious plan through which he will rescue his relations. He may have a sidekick who is interested in his sister.
The hero reaches the place only to find that the police have already reached the place and have rounded up all the baddies.
The hero gets very angry. I mean how the hell can he prove his heroism if he doesn’t get an opportunity to display it? So he angrily grabs an inspector and demands the reason.
The inspector is looking ashamed of himself. He says with embarrassment that he reached the place rather early and had to round them up. He apologizes to the hero for being early and all of them leave.

I hope that you managed to survive them all.
Bye!!!

Posted 5:31 AM by The Consultant
Globe Explained

All of you must be familiar with the term "Globe" by now. Most of you must have read it on Gaurav's or Sunil's blog. This post presents an example of what it actually is:

Performance management

Purpose:
The purpose of the study is
·To understand the implications of the subject matter for Indian companies competing in an increasingly global scenario, examine the current practices and suggest improvements

·To make an inquiry into the subject matter and gain an understanding of the underlying practical intricacies for achieving managerial excellence in the future and acquisition of leadership tools

Objectives:
The Objectives of the study are as follows:
·Comparative study of various performance appraisal methodologies and suggestions for systems compatible with the post-globalization era

·Career planning and its implications vis-à-vis the organizational human resource management strategies

·Based on the findings suggest methods for achieving congruence between organizational objectives and career planning and management

Methodology:
The objectives of the study will be achieved through the following:
·Primary data generated through survey and questionnaires

·Consideration of relevant real life case studies

·Consideration of views expressed by experts in professional journals and books and other secondary sources

·Generated from above findings, a synthesis of the opinions and impressions formed by the group members



What it means:

"We will do something if we manage to find some time from our busy schedules."

Posted 11:58 PM by The Consultant
A Financial Thriller!!!!

The sudden clamor of the alarm woke him up. He sprang to attention. All around him, he could see only figures and figures. HDFC Bank… 250.45, ICICI Bank…. 159.05… Reliance…345.20…. HLL…167.15. He felt lightheaded. He still recalled the time when he was all fresh and raring to go. Now, he felt as if he had lost the will to compete in the game. In those days, he was one of a kind. He was not up to the mark anymore. Newer, younger and smarter operators had entered the market. He was no longer the star attraction. He missed the fan following he had.

Well, it can’t always go your way. There are always ups and downs in the stock market. Why should his life be any different?

With an effort, he completely expunged all these depressing thoughts from his mind. He concentrated on the job at hand. He did some quick calculations. If he gave a sell order now on HDFC Bank, he could make a quick killing on the downturn that would come near the end of the day. He thought about the previous patterns he had observed in the HDFC Bank shares. He felt that he should go ahead with the order. He immediately entered his price in the huge order book. The order book gave a disinterested beep to signal that the order had been received. Damn, even the order books nowadays knew that he was no longer important. “I will show them, I will show them that I am right. Experience does count for something.” He uttered to himself. He knew that the brain that he possessed was of exceptional caliber and he knew what he was capable of. It was just that his recent attempts had met with failure.

Beep!!! The order book beeped. His order had been accepted and the deal had gone through. He noticed with pleasure that despite his sell order, the price was going up. He did another quick calculation and then gave one more sell order. The order was executed by the system. The price continued to rise relentlessly. He could not believe his eyes. It was going to be a big day indeed. He gave another order.

Till 2.30 pm, he gave sell orders worth nearly 5 crore Rs. Now, he waited for the downturn that was bound to come. The newsflash when it came left him numb. “HDFC Bank posts 30% growth in Q1”. The price was already on its way up. The phone started ringing. He looked at it but didn’t feel like picking it up. With an effort, he picked it up. It was his boss. He heard him out, gave some feeble answers.

He stood up. A crazy thought entered his mind. He looked around. No one was paying any attention to him. He started walking, his mind made up! Suddenly he started running towards the glass window…

The next day, there was a small item of news.
“Rajesh Mehta,32,a noted stockbroker committed suicide by jumping out of the window. Almost all the share prices fell by a whopping 8%…”

The boss stared at the news item. Rajesh was always very smart. He knew what drove the market sentiments…..

Posted 7:49 AM by The Consultant
Creativity, Textbooks, Teachers and other question marks

What should be the ideal method of teaching? What should be the ideal education system? What should be its objectives?

All of us have been a part of this system for the first 20 years of our lives. Hence, it is not surprising that most of us have certain opinions about this system or the lack of it, as some may wish to point out.

Before I launch a scathing attack on this system, I must admit something. I am a product of this system. I am at a particular level because of the system. But I feel that there is some scope for improvement. (There is always some scope for improvement in every system ;-) )

Every person is born with some degree of curiosity about the world around him. As he grows up, he starts asking questions. Some kids ask more questions, some ask less. I feel that the best way to preserve this curiosity is to provide clues that will mystify the kids even more. The idea is to make them find out the answers themselves.

Our textbooks should be designed with this idea in mind. It will take a really creative mind to write a textbook in this fashion. Our textbooks provide ready answers to all our questions. There is no fun, no thrill, and no excitement in that. Reading a textbook should be like an exploration expedition of a semi dark cave full of treasures and tantalizing clues. The teachers should act like guides who know the path but will only show a clue or two once in a while.

Can you imagine a school like this? Where the pursuit of knowledge is not driven by rules and exams but by students and their unending thirst?

Education system tries to make conformists out of us. It tries to give a structure to the way we think. But the creativity is unstructured. It is like a bird soaring up and up into an infinite and unending sky. Giving it a flight path and asking it to stick to it does not make sense to me. For, the people handing out the flight path don’t know where the journey ends, if at all. The duty of the old generation is to arm the new one with imagination and then watch them disappear beyond their own brand of imagination.

Posted 6:53 AM by The Consultant
Why do we need exams??? Part 2

The point of this and the last post on exam is not to discuss whether or not the exams should be continued or not. The point is to establish that exam in its current form is a totally unnecessary procedure that does not serve any purpose whatsoever.

When was the last time that you felt that the question paper was really challenging and it was a real treat to answer that question paper? How many instructors possess the caliber to test the students?

Then what should an ideal exam be like?
1.It should be able to test all your knowledge about the topic.

2.It should be able to see whether you have gone beyond what was taught in the school and tried applying those concepts in challenging practical situations.

3.The examination should not be designed to judge whether a person has achieved bare minimum. It should be designed in such manner that the examinee would be able to assess his knowledge vis-à-vis the stringent requirements of the world.

4·The objective of most examinees is to achieve passing grades. Hence, they end up with some half-baked ideas about the topic that they actually go on and implement in the world.

I can go on and on…

But the central theme of all my ideas about the ideal exams is the practical considerations. If the practical life is robust enough to judge a person, then what is the reason for all these exams?

Is there any flaw in these arguments? Please let me know….

Posted 10:17 PM by The Consultant
Common Civil Code

There is some hope now that all the citizens of India will be equal in all respects. The Honourable Supreme Court has rightly observed that there is a difference between having religious freedom and having different laws for different religions.

But I doubt whether the political parties in India have the guts or the willingness to administer this bitter pill.

There have been many instances in the past where the Justice system has intervened on behalf of the citizens.

However, one fundamental and glaring inefficiency in our legal system has been ignored for too long. The delays and inefficiencies in our justice system needs to be addressed. More about it on Saturday. Have a rather tough exam at 2.00 p.m.

Have a nice day!!!!

Posted 11:10 PM by The Consultant
The Socialist

It was a glorious morning! It had been a long time since I had had 10 hours of sleep. Everything felt so right, so perfect. I opened the door and stared at our football field. It was a beautiful cool morning.

Suddenly, I realised that something was wrong. OH MY GOD!!!!!! There was no social justice! The capital assets of production were being owned by a few capitalist pigs! I looked at the contents of my room.

I felt dizzy. I had too many capital assets in my room. I had a computer, some books and a scissor. I had committed what I, a true socialist, would call the gravest crime. I was depriving my fellow countrymen from earning their daily bread. I hung my head in shame and self-recrimination. I thanked the lord for the enlightenment!

OH NO, another sin!!!!!! Thank Marx, I realised it just in time. I was thanking the god, a non-existent entity, a creation of the capitalist pigs, a peddler of the most dangerous drug called religion, a thing that I can call many more names. Hrmmmmpppppph!!

I dragged my computer, all the books and the scissor to the hostel common room. I came back to my room, my face shining with pleasure of satisfaction. I saw our safaiwala passing by. I asked him to stop and told him that he could use my computer and scissors whenever he wants. I wanted to tell him that he could use the books also, but then I realised that he cannot read English. The safaiwala looked at me, confusion writ all over his face. He was obviously trampled on for too long by these fat capitalist pigs. He had forgotten all about the social equality. I explained to him patiently that I was a socialist and that he was the victim of a capitalist plot. He had the right to use my computer, as it was something he could use to produce and make money. Then I started explaining to him the concept of socialism and how it is the only hope for the mankind. I could literally see the change in the thought process of the man. Initially he looked confused and bewildered. Then I could sense from the changing expressions on his face that he was beginning to understand. Suddenly, in the middle of my explanation, he asked me to stop. He looked at me as a fellow socialist would and said, “Babuji, I have understood what you are saying. I will always support you in all your endeavours. Now, I have some work to do right now. Meanwhile, please get some sleep as you look tired.” The concern in his voice was touching and I decided to follow his advice.

I flopped down on my bed and closed my eyes in bliss. I had just removed some inequality. As I slept, I dreamt of a socialist India. It was a really beautiful dream. Everyone was smiling a socialist and equal smile. Everybody was so equal that you could actually see the equality sign between two people talking to each other. Plans were afoot to uplift the downtrodden like the cats, dogs and pigs (not the capitalist ones!). Biologists were talking about genetic engineering to remove the physical and genetic inequalities. There were no classes in the society. Classification was banned in statistics.

As I dreamt, I smiled a triumphant smile. The victory was complete.

Be warned, all ye capitalist pigs! The socialist is going to destroy all your capitalist designs.

Posted 7:23 AM by The Consultant
Why do we need exams?????

Exactly 1,454,889,789 years ago, in a galaxy not far far away (In fact, in this galaxy itself) some bureaucrat suddenly became creative. His mind started racing so fast that he experienced dizziness. He got up from his chair to rest his back. (Bureaucrats need frequent breaks to rest their aching backs.) He cursed the chair that did not allow him to sleep properly. Then he tried to catch hold of the idea that he had thought of. But as bureaucrats don’t meet these creatures called idea very often, he caught hold of some non-idea creature in his mind and termed it idea. That non-idea creature was called evaluation process. The bureaucrat was pleased by the non-idea creature and decided to use it in practical life. It gave him new means to create obstacles, paperwork, problems and other such unnecessary things in the smooth lives of the non-bureaucrats.

Since the inception of this non-idea, lives of almost all human beings has been plagued by tension, trauma, failure and other such unnecessary things. I happen to be one of those human beings and I want to register my protest.

Exams or evaluation process of any sort is entirely unnecessary. But some people still float arguments that support this non-idea creature.

Let us examine these one by one.
1.People study only because the exams are there.
Quite true. But these are the subjects that they deem unnecessary in their lives. If a person is passionate about something, he will study it whether or not the exams exist. If someone does not want to study something, why should he be forced to do so? If in the course of his life, he finds that the particular stream of knowledge he had ignored in the past is quite essential for his survival, he will learn it by heart.

2.You cannot judge a person without exams.
How many exams really judge our abilities? How can we say that X is less capable than Y just because Y got more marks than X? Maybe Y really likes that subject and X does not. Maybe Y has a better handwriting. Maybe X cannot write that fast. How many evaluators are really good at those topics? How many evaluators really believe that they are doing something important? How can we ensure that the subjectivity element does not affect the evaluation process?

Remaining arguments in the next post. One disadvantage of having 3 finance courses and advanced marketing research is that you do not get much time to sleep and blog.

Posted 5:26 AM by The Consultant
Ultimate Joy!!!!!!!!!

After 6 years of hard work, failure and patience, finally the Gods have smiled. I have become a CHARTERED ACCOUNTANT!!!!!

It is one of the happiest moments of my life. Even getting into IIM Lucknow was not such a joyous occasion.

I hope that all of you experience the kind of happiness that I am feeling today.

Have a nice day, all of you!!

Posted 11:12 PM by The Consultant
Cricket Quiz!!!!!

My first cricket quiz and I made it to the finals!!!!! I was always skeptical about my quizzing abilities, especially after sitting through one of Gaurav’s quizzes in which I had no idea what on earth he was asking. So, when I got him as my partner for the cricket quiz, I was rather happy, though I doubted my ability to contribute to our team’s victory.

The elimination round had 25 questions in which I got some rather tough ones right. To quote a few, (How can I resist bragging?) –
1.What is the similarity between 1981 Headingley test (Botham leads England to victory despite following on) and Kolkata test (Laxman, Dravid, Sachin and Harbhajan)?

The answer is Peter Willey. He was a player in the first and umpire in the second.

2.Who is the only player to have scored unbeaten hundreds in both the innings of a test?

Aravinda Desilva

3.Southernmost Test Venue?

Dunedin (New Zealand). (Gaurav overruled and wrote Hobart. :’( )

In the finals, I opened our a/c with a guess that turned out to be true. However, the quiz was not conducted in a fair manner. : @

Some useless system called infinite rebound system (Suggested by Gaurav) was used. The sole aim of this system is to ensure that Pushkar and Gaurav get incredibly impossible questions. To give an example, in 1902, Adams hit the ball in the air that hit a sparrow, so identify the spectator who bought 456th ticket in that match.

But our competitors were getting some really easy ones.

Who got Tendulkar’s wicket in India-Zimbabwe match in 1999 world cup?
Tendulkar did not play in that match.

I don’t like this system at all. In fact, I have designed a system called “ The Management Guru system”. In this system, the quizmaster comes and shows us a piece of paper on which a question is written. Then, he shows us another piece of paper for exactly 8 seconds on which the answer is written. Then we have to dig deep into our memories and write down on a piece of paper what the answer is. (We may use the same piece of paper)

What a superb system! It tests the eyesight, the memory and the reading skills of the participants.

Then the quizmaster goes to the next team and asks them to guess the answer that we wrote. It is so simple and efficient.

I hope that Gaurav employs this system the next time he conducts a quiz.

Posted 1:19 AM by The Consultant
Conducting arguments through comments system is also not a good strategic move.

Posted 10:36 PM by The Consultant
The TechGod!!!!!

And finally I have done justice to my amazing programming talents! Soon this site will be full of amazing technologies like zonkboard, pictures, links of IIM Lucknow etc.

Posted 12:54 PM by The Consultant
Falling ill in a business school is not a good strategic move. All the promises that you had made to other people cannot be fulfilled. Your entire schedule goes haywire. You miss quizzes. Then people keep asking you why you missed them, telling in great detail how easy they were.

For last couple of days, I am watching the lives of other people flash by. The freshers are especially busy with their workloads, committee interviews and all. It is depressing when you see others busy with their tasks while you just sit idle doing nothing.

I remember my school days. In those days, it was fun to be ill. I didn’t have any deadlines to meet. I could just stay in the bed, read a book or two and enjoy the wonderful tomato soup that my mother made.

Falling ill is not a good strategic move if you don’t have anyone looking after you. :-(

Posted 10:40 PM by The Consultant
Forrest Gump

All of us have to make some choices in our lives. Many times, there is no doubt in our heart as to what is the right thing to do. Yet we end up doing the wrong thing. Then we try and justify it. We say that we were being pragmatic and sensible about it. But when we are alone and we have nothing to do, we keep thinking about these decisions wondering why we didn’t have the courage to do it the right way.

I wonder whether it is our intelligence that hinders us from making these right decisions. We think about the consequences, we determine the course of action that will benefit us the most. If we are only able to think what is right or wrong and not what is profitable or otherwise, will we make the right choice?

This is why I love this movie. Forrest is a simpleton. He has limited intelligence, but he knows what is right and wrong. He has very simple reasons for doing the things that he does. He does not care about the consequences. In a world full of insanity, this “stupid” is the one making all the sane choices.

Sometimes, the contradictions in our lives look so logical.

Posted 8:24 PM by The Consultant
War, Peace, Human Beings and Full Metal Jacket

Contrary to Gaurav’s expectations, I really liked Full Metal Jacket. Yeah, it is too explicit, but so is life!
I have read a few books on war like Catch-22, War and Peace and some Hemingway. I wonder if there exists a difference in opinions in the western world and the eastern world.
All the Indian war stories that I have read so far paint a very different picture. I wonder if there is any book by any Indian soldier who has fought in a war. It would be interesting to find out what an Indian soldier thinks about a war….
In the last scene of the Full Metal Jacket, the Joker shoots the sniper and moves on. I guess that is the only thing one can do about the war. Shoot, congratulate yourself that you are alive and move on!

Posted 10:02 PM by The Consultant
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!

People tell me that I am a very easygoing person. But read this and tell me if I was wrong in losing my temper.

Mr. Togadia seems to be suffering from delusions of grandeur. The (expletive deleted) actually thinks that he represents all the Hindus in this world. Maybe putting Vishwa in the name of the organization means that the organization has a right to think so.

In his latest case of verbal diarrhea, he has accused Mr. Vajpayi of being Mahatma Gandhi II. Now Mr. Gandhi may have done a lot of wrong things, but he also did a lot of good for the country. The man is too great for (expletive deleted) like Togadia to insult him.

The mere thought that one person could be responsible for the division of a country is absolute rubbish. I wont even try to defend Mr. Gandhi on this point.

One thing that Mr. Togadia said and which did make sense was that the growth in the population of Muslims. But the statement seems to suggest that all the Muslims in India are a bunch of irresponsible hooligans who would massacre all the innocent Hindus. That is not the case, Mr. Togadia! The situation is dangerous because one community is facing tremendous pressures of population without any source of profitable employment. In the absence of education, resources and enlightenment, the plight of the Muslims will always be miserable. Just passing some laws will not solve the problem. The situation demands something more constructive and radical. More about that later.

He also states that soon VHP will take steps to saffronise the Indian political scene. That statement is a great source of anxiety. If an organization headed by such a fanatic is allowed to function without any check, the future of Indian Democracy looks rather bleak.

Now one point that has been discussed to death in many articles and TV shows is the Babri Masjid – Ram Mandir issue. I am a Hindu. I seem to remember a story about Shri Hanuman, who tore open his chest to show that the God lived in his heart. Why do we need to have a temple there if we already have so many temples of Ram? Why do we need to waste our time and energy in controlling avoidable religious clashes instead of devoting our attention to things like education, water and good governance?

I believe that a religion should be something that is left to the individual choice. I won’t have any (expletive deleted) telling me what Hindutva (Hinduism) is.

Now that I have written the post, I wonder if I did the right thing in deleting the expletives.

Posted 10:41 AM by The Consultant

Bed Time Horror Stories for Insects

(This is the conversation between two bloodthirsty Insect-Terminators discussing their battles. Seven at one blow refers to the Best Performance by Sunil Joshi in his Insect-Eradication-Campaign. Pushkar refers to the other bloodthirsty not-so-gifted insect terminator.)

Pushkar says:
what is the latest score?
Seven at one blow! says:
atleast 100 killed so far...
Pushkar says:
eh?
Seven at one blow! says:
casualities on my side are... two blood stained slippers...and some stains on my table
Pushkar says:
what size and variety are we discussing?
Pushkar says:
whats wrong with you? were you breeding those insects in your room?
Pushkar says:
100?
Seven at one blow! says:
I dunno...they seem to be attracted to my room
Pushkar says:
at such times i feel like burning my room
Seven at one blow! says:
I have stacked old notebooks under the balcony door
Seven at one blow! says:
still they continue to come in as if by magic
Pushkar says:
my room has been air sealed by NASA yet these #$^#$s keep coming
Seven at one blow! says:
#$@%@#$%< insects
Seven at one blow! says:
and these ones are not hopping around..they are actually flying
Pushkar says:
oh god
Pushkar says:
the hoppers one can kill
Pushkar says:
the flyers are trained US army pilots
Pushkar says:
they can evade everything
Seven at one blow! says:
not me....
Pushkar says:
wow
Pushkar says:
thou art gifted
Seven at one blow! says:
Thanks
Pushkar says:
you must have been a vietnam soldier last time
Pushkar says:
i hope you havent encountered the large ponderous variety
Pushkar says:
those mammoth creatures that look you in the eye
Pushkar says:
and dare you to cross swords with them
Seven at one blow! says:
no ponderous ones here..though I have a feeling that these insects have superpowers..
Seven at one blow! says:
they can go through walls
Pushkar says:
10 hopping crickets were hiding BEHIND my drawers
Pushkar says:
yesterday night
Pushkar says:
i was about to sleep when one of them started his "into the shining sun"
Pushkar says:
so i killed him
Seven at one blow! says:
goood deed
Pushkar says:
but the next one took it up the moment i was on that boundry between sleep and reality
Pushkar says:
this happened 3 times
Pushkar says:
then i investigated, found the source and murdered them and left their mutilated bodies out side the 2 doors as warning to others
Seven at one blow! says:
doesnt work
Seven at one blow! says:
they actually are suicidal
Pushkar says:
yeah, you are right. It was the 1942 a love story ending outside the doors
Pushkar says:
they were all yelling "karenge ya marenge"
Seven at one blow! says:
lol
Seven at one blow! says:
hahahaha!!!
Seven at one blow! says:
bhayankar kalpana (Amazing Idea)
Pushkar says:
I am sure Gandhi was inspired by such incident in his life. At least one of his prison cell in SA had insect problem
Pushkar says:
insects are the originators of ahimsa(non-violence)
Seven at one blow! says:
interesting theory..you must write about this
Pushkar says:
great
Pushkar says:
i ll just put this conversation


P.S.
God knows how many historical incidents and ideas I am going to attribute to the existance of these insects.

Posted 5:51 AM by The Consultant

Why people stop believing in Him!!

I finally understand now! I have been mulling over it for a long time now. But the solution was so simple that I felt like slamming my fist down on the table in disgust and exclaim,"Oh, it was so simple, Della! Paul, you just bring that parrot in the court today and we will give Hamilton Burger some really nice time!"

But as I am not Perry Mason, I will have to slam some keys on this keyboard instead.

If you see thousands and thousands of creepy crawlies wriggling all over the place, if you see some rather nasty looking bugs jumping ten feet in the air like kangaroos, you stop believing in Him. Some of these individuals are the size of my palm and strut around the way criminals do in police stations.

Now some environmentalist or biologist might yell at me and lecture me on the food chain or some such stuff. But I have a humble query.

Food chain??? Hullo, the food in IIM Lucknow might be bad but it aint that bad! So count ME out of the food chain. There are not many birds in my room, so there is one missing link.

So there is no threat to the existance of these creeps!

I still remember my first day here at IIM L. I came here drenched in sweat at 23.55. When I went to the bathroom for a cool shower, I saw some million eyes staring at me with open hostility. A couple of them did those huge jumping acts. Then as if to settle the issue, one rather large individual jumped up and landed a couple of feet away from me. Then we had a not-so-friendly chat.

Bug De Niro: You lookin at me? You lookin at me???

Me: Oh no! I was looking at the floor but you came in between.

Bug De Niro: TRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR TRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR TRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Me: Pardon?

Bug: Hey, I am a bug. I am supposed to make that noise from time to time.

Me: Oh, sorry.

Bug: So what do you want in here?

Me: Oh, nothing!

Bug: Then stop "human"ing us and get out.

So I got out and went to my room. As I had left my door open, some of the bugs had gained entry and were on an inspection tour. Some were rather interested in my luggage. Some were resting on the bed.

I spent one sleepless night trying to read a book that I had brought while the bugs had a great party. Some latecomers could not enter thanks to a mesh door. But they kept inserting their visting cards through the holes hoping to join the party.

Next day, I shifted to Hostel 10 which is not so popular among the bugs.

The point of this rather meandering post is to prove a cause and effect relationship between the existance of insects and rise in the number of non-believers. But on a serious note, are all these bugs really a vital part of this food chain? Please enlighten!!

Posted 4:28 AM by The Consultant
Pushkar says:
btw, i realised something yesterday
Antonio says:
bol
Pushkar says:
believers realise that they are not atheists when they are in big trouble
Antonio says:
he he
Pushkar says:
most of em
Pushkar says:
arundhati roy suddenly becomes a believer
Pushkar says:
she is being targeted by some hindu/muslim fundamentalists
Pushkar says:
so she is running and the mob is chasing her
Pushkar says:
she reaches a dead end and the mob advances on her
Antonio says:
ok go on
Pushkar says:
she prays and asks the god to grant her this one big wish
Pushkar says:
the god appears in front of her
Pushkar says:
he says," what do you want? your life or some cadbury temptation?"
Pushkar says:
she snaps" of course my life"
Antonio says:
ok..
Pushkar says:
god says," nyaaaa, wrong answer"
Pushkar says:
i cant grant that favour
Pushkar says:
she is bewildered
Pushkar says:
she asks "why cant you do it"
Pushkar says:
he says" coj i am a god of SMALL things"
Pushkar says:
he he he
Pushkar says:
Pushkar says:
she prays and asks the god to grant her this one big wish
Antonio says:
aah

Posted 4:36 AM by The Consultant
Well, I was rather overconfident and overenthusiastic in that last post of mine. I still cannot figure out how the compartmentalization can be removed. Some of the implementation plans were utterly unrealistic. So I will put that on the backburner. In fact, I am putting this entire "I-am-the-saviour-of-Indian-education-system” episode on the backburner.

So, there are 2 things on that backburner. Now that I have backed out, I will get back to my usual self so that I can get back at Gaurav for his supposedly funny post on movie titles. After liberally using the word 'back' for no reason whatsoever, I guess the revenge is complete.

I did something for the first time in my life. I went to google and then translated this web page of mine into German. It was rather interesting reading the blog afterwards.

For a long time now, I have been thinking about putting up the links of all the blogs that I read here. But I have not been able to do it due to the simple fact that I am a poor commerce graduate who does not know HTML ( I hope so) coding. But I hope that my technologically gifted friends like Gaurav or Sunil can take care of the issue.
In fact, the comment system and the sitemeter links have also been put up by Sunil.

I guess I will end this utterly pointless post right here.

Posted 8:34 PM by The Consultant
Why do we have separate colleges for engineering, commerce and medicine? Why can't a person learn chemistry and economics at the same time? Is it not a fact that both the subjects are equally needed in the world today?

Such compartmentalisation ensures that the person does not possess the knowledge required to start a business. Why should not the education system change its focus? The real intention behind educating a person is to make him/her an independent and rational entity. But our education system tries make a person a good candidate for a job. Now if there are no jobs on offer, how can the independence and rationality survive? The education system needs to change its focus. The education provided should be such that the person will be able to start a business or get a job. The compartmentalisation should go.

How to do it? Next blog.