Posted 10:02 PM by The Consultant
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!

People tell me that I am a very easygoing person. But read this and tell me if I was wrong in losing my temper.

Mr. Togadia seems to be suffering from delusions of grandeur. The (expletive deleted) actually thinks that he represents all the Hindus in this world. Maybe putting Vishwa in the name of the organization means that the organization has a right to think so.

In his latest case of verbal diarrhea, he has accused Mr. Vajpayi of being Mahatma Gandhi II. Now Mr. Gandhi may have done a lot of wrong things, but he also did a lot of good for the country. The man is too great for (expletive deleted) like Togadia to insult him.

The mere thought that one person could be responsible for the division of a country is absolute rubbish. I wont even try to defend Mr. Gandhi on this point.

One thing that Mr. Togadia said and which did make sense was that the growth in the population of Muslims. But the statement seems to suggest that all the Muslims in India are a bunch of irresponsible hooligans who would massacre all the innocent Hindus. That is not the case, Mr. Togadia! The situation is dangerous because one community is facing tremendous pressures of population without any source of profitable employment. In the absence of education, resources and enlightenment, the plight of the Muslims will always be miserable. Just passing some laws will not solve the problem. The situation demands something more constructive and radical. More about that later.

He also states that soon VHP will take steps to saffronise the Indian political scene. That statement is a great source of anxiety. If an organization headed by such a fanatic is allowed to function without any check, the future of Indian Democracy looks rather bleak.

Now one point that has been discussed to death in many articles and TV shows is the Babri Masjid – Ram Mandir issue. I am a Hindu. I seem to remember a story about Shri Hanuman, who tore open his chest to show that the God lived in his heart. Why do we need to have a temple there if we already have so many temples of Ram? Why do we need to waste our time and energy in controlling avoidable religious clashes instead of devoting our attention to things like education, water and good governance?

I believe that a religion should be something that is left to the individual choice. I won’t have any (expletive deleted) telling me what Hindutva (Hinduism) is.

Now that I have written the post, I wonder if I did the right thing in deleting the expletives.

Posted 10:41 AM by The Consultant

Bed Time Horror Stories for Insects

(This is the conversation between two bloodthirsty Insect-Terminators discussing their battles. Seven at one blow refers to the Best Performance by Sunil Joshi in his Insect-Eradication-Campaign. Pushkar refers to the other bloodthirsty not-so-gifted insect terminator.)

Pushkar says:
what is the latest score?
Seven at one blow! says:
atleast 100 killed so far...
Pushkar says:
eh?
Seven at one blow! says:
casualities on my side are... two blood stained slippers...and some stains on my table
Pushkar says:
what size and variety are we discussing?
Pushkar says:
whats wrong with you? were you breeding those insects in your room?
Pushkar says:
100?
Seven at one blow! says:
I dunno...they seem to be attracted to my room
Pushkar says:
at such times i feel like burning my room
Seven at one blow! says:
I have stacked old notebooks under the balcony door
Seven at one blow! says:
still they continue to come in as if by magic
Pushkar says:
my room has been air sealed by NASA yet these #$^#$s keep coming
Seven at one blow! says:
#$@%@#$%< insects
Seven at one blow! says:
and these ones are not hopping around..they are actually flying
Pushkar says:
oh god
Pushkar says:
the hoppers one can kill
Pushkar says:
the flyers are trained US army pilots
Pushkar says:
they can evade everything
Seven at one blow! says:
not me....
Pushkar says:
wow
Pushkar says:
thou art gifted
Seven at one blow! says:
Thanks
Pushkar says:
you must have been a vietnam soldier last time
Pushkar says:
i hope you havent encountered the large ponderous variety
Pushkar says:
those mammoth creatures that look you in the eye
Pushkar says:
and dare you to cross swords with them
Seven at one blow! says:
no ponderous ones here..though I have a feeling that these insects have superpowers..
Seven at one blow! says:
they can go through walls
Pushkar says:
10 hopping crickets were hiding BEHIND my drawers
Pushkar says:
yesterday night
Pushkar says:
i was about to sleep when one of them started his "into the shining sun"
Pushkar says:
so i killed him
Seven at one blow! says:
goood deed
Pushkar says:
but the next one took it up the moment i was on that boundry between sleep and reality
Pushkar says:
this happened 3 times
Pushkar says:
then i investigated, found the source and murdered them and left their mutilated bodies out side the 2 doors as warning to others
Seven at one blow! says:
doesnt work
Seven at one blow! says:
they actually are suicidal
Pushkar says:
yeah, you are right. It was the 1942 a love story ending outside the doors
Pushkar says:
they were all yelling "karenge ya marenge"
Seven at one blow! says:
lol
Seven at one blow! says:
hahahaha!!!
Seven at one blow! says:
bhayankar kalpana (Amazing Idea)
Pushkar says:
I am sure Gandhi was inspired by such incident in his life. At least one of his prison cell in SA had insect problem
Pushkar says:
insects are the originators of ahimsa(non-violence)
Seven at one blow! says:
interesting theory..you must write about this
Pushkar says:
great
Pushkar says:
i ll just put this conversation


P.S.
God knows how many historical incidents and ideas I am going to attribute to the existance of these insects.

Posted 5:51 AM by The Consultant

Why people stop believing in Him!!

I finally understand now! I have been mulling over it for a long time now. But the solution was so simple that I felt like slamming my fist down on the table in disgust and exclaim,"Oh, it was so simple, Della! Paul, you just bring that parrot in the court today and we will give Hamilton Burger some really nice time!"

But as I am not Perry Mason, I will have to slam some keys on this keyboard instead.

If you see thousands and thousands of creepy crawlies wriggling all over the place, if you see some rather nasty looking bugs jumping ten feet in the air like kangaroos, you stop believing in Him. Some of these individuals are the size of my palm and strut around the way criminals do in police stations.

Now some environmentalist or biologist might yell at me and lecture me on the food chain or some such stuff. But I have a humble query.

Food chain??? Hullo, the food in IIM Lucknow might be bad but it aint that bad! So count ME out of the food chain. There are not many birds in my room, so there is one missing link.

So there is no threat to the existance of these creeps!

I still remember my first day here at IIM L. I came here drenched in sweat at 23.55. When I went to the bathroom for a cool shower, I saw some million eyes staring at me with open hostility. A couple of them did those huge jumping acts. Then as if to settle the issue, one rather large individual jumped up and landed a couple of feet away from me. Then we had a not-so-friendly chat.

Bug De Niro: You lookin at me? You lookin at me???

Me: Oh no! I was looking at the floor but you came in between.

Bug De Niro: TRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR TRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR TRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Me: Pardon?

Bug: Hey, I am a bug. I am supposed to make that noise from time to time.

Me: Oh, sorry.

Bug: So what do you want in here?

Me: Oh, nothing!

Bug: Then stop "human"ing us and get out.

So I got out and went to my room. As I had left my door open, some of the bugs had gained entry and were on an inspection tour. Some were rather interested in my luggage. Some were resting on the bed.

I spent one sleepless night trying to read a book that I had brought while the bugs had a great party. Some latecomers could not enter thanks to a mesh door. But they kept inserting their visting cards through the holes hoping to join the party.

Next day, I shifted to Hostel 10 which is not so popular among the bugs.

The point of this rather meandering post is to prove a cause and effect relationship between the existance of insects and rise in the number of non-believers. But on a serious note, are all these bugs really a vital part of this food chain? Please enlighten!!

Posted 4:28 AM by The Consultant
Pushkar says:
btw, i realised something yesterday
Antonio says:
bol
Pushkar says:
believers realise that they are not atheists when they are in big trouble
Antonio says:
he he
Pushkar says:
most of em
Pushkar says:
arundhati roy suddenly becomes a believer
Pushkar says:
she is being targeted by some hindu/muslim fundamentalists
Pushkar says:
so she is running and the mob is chasing her
Pushkar says:
she reaches a dead end and the mob advances on her
Antonio says:
ok go on
Pushkar says:
she prays and asks the god to grant her this one big wish
Pushkar says:
the god appears in front of her
Pushkar says:
he says," what do you want? your life or some cadbury temptation?"
Pushkar says:
she snaps" of course my life"
Antonio says:
ok..
Pushkar says:
god says," nyaaaa, wrong answer"
Pushkar says:
i cant grant that favour
Pushkar says:
she is bewildered
Pushkar says:
she asks "why cant you do it"
Pushkar says:
he says" coj i am a god of SMALL things"
Pushkar says:
he he he
Pushkar says:
Pushkar says:
she prays and asks the god to grant her this one big wish
Antonio says:
aah

Posted 4:36 AM by The Consultant
Well, I was rather overconfident and overenthusiastic in that last post of mine. I still cannot figure out how the compartmentalization can be removed. Some of the implementation plans were utterly unrealistic. So I will put that on the backburner. In fact, I am putting this entire "I-am-the-saviour-of-Indian-education-system” episode on the backburner.

So, there are 2 things on that backburner. Now that I have backed out, I will get back to my usual self so that I can get back at Gaurav for his supposedly funny post on movie titles. After liberally using the word 'back' for no reason whatsoever, I guess the revenge is complete.

I did something for the first time in my life. I went to google and then translated this web page of mine into German. It was rather interesting reading the blog afterwards.

For a long time now, I have been thinking about putting up the links of all the blogs that I read here. But I have not been able to do it due to the simple fact that I am a poor commerce graduate who does not know HTML ( I hope so) coding. But I hope that my technologically gifted friends like Gaurav or Sunil can take care of the issue.
In fact, the comment system and the sitemeter links have also been put up by Sunil.

I guess I will end this utterly pointless post right here.

Posted 8:34 PM by The Consultant
Why do we have separate colleges for engineering, commerce and medicine? Why can't a person learn chemistry and economics at the same time? Is it not a fact that both the subjects are equally needed in the world today?

Such compartmentalisation ensures that the person does not possess the knowledge required to start a business. Why should not the education system change its focus? The real intention behind educating a person is to make him/her an independent and rational entity. But our education system tries make a person a good candidate for a job. Now if there are no jobs on offer, how can the independence and rationality survive? The education system needs to change its focus. The education provided should be such that the person will be able to start a business or get a job. The compartmentalisation should go.

How to do it? Next blog.

Posted 12:09 AM by The Consultant

Around 40% Indians are illliterate. Around 40% of the children are illiterate. This is the reality and it really bothers me. The govt spends 520 Rs., 915 Rs., 1577 Rs. and 2923 Rs. per student for primary, secondary, higher secondary and greater than higher secondary education respectively.

Now, I don't think that more than 60% of the money reaches the students. So instead of having all the babus and the infrastructure, can the following suggestion be implemented?
1. Create an infrastructure for evaluation of students for the primary, secondary and higher secondary level.
2. Offer 500/-, 900/- and 1500/- per successful candidate to the teacher who has taught the candidate.
3. Instead of recruiting the teachers, allow any person to become a teacher.
4. The courses should contain some practically useful courses which will help the candidates make some money in the future.

Posted 7:34 PM by The Consultant
How do I get a job? Too many young Indians are asking this question. Too many graduates and too few jobs. All that talk about economic development of India, globalisation and so on and so forth is of no use to the average unemployed graduate. I think that it is about time that the entire education system is revamped. So the next few posts will be on "How to improve the Indian education system: A Practical Perspective"

Posted 1:28 PM by The Consultant
It has been some time since I have written something. The reason is not the lack of words or thoughts, but the lack of internet access.
Will start updating from 14th June onwards regularly, I hope.

Will leave you with some really sad jokes. Please do not read them. Even I did not like them. Tony, this is the moment when you should click on that cross in the top right hand corner. And I bet that you took a look at the top right hand corner before you realised what you were upto. :P

What is the opposite of Rambo?
Two equally correct answers here.
a)Ram, don't bow.
b) Don't ram the bow.