Posted 1:16 PM by The Consultant
Wow!!!!!

Finally, I have done it! Another feather in my cap!!!

I was going through the referrals on the site meter site. Somebody searched for “poor jokes pjs” on google. And guess what?

I was 7th on that list!!!

There was only one individual who was ahead in the list. Mr. Gaurav Jalan has put up some jokes on his site. He has stated that those are poor jokes. Mr. Jalan, if you are reading this, let me point out with utmost regret that none of those jokes were poor. They made me laugh. Okay, as it is my opinion, that might not be the litmus test, but I am quite sure that you all will feel the same way.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank google. As far as pjs go, I have no or little competition.

Posted 7:26 AM by The Consultant
I am Back!!!

It has been such a long time. I have missed blogging regularly. Everyday, I looked at my blog, thought about it and then changed my mind. The commitments that I had made were far more important.

One amazing thing about blogging is that once you start doing it regularly, you become your worst critic. You think twice about each and everything that you want to put there. You want it to be just perfect.

Another thing. If one takes a bit of break from blogging, enforced in my case, one, kind of, misses one’s blog.

Last couples of weeks were really hectic. My club, Abhiyan, IIM Lucknow entrepreneurship cell, organized a nationwide competition for innovative business ideas. It was moderately successful. One of my classmates, Mr. Balark Banerjea won the contest with a fantastic idea.

To add to the workload, we had some rather big project submissions. So it was hectic even for a workaholic like me. :-)
I will be blogging regularly from now on, I hope.

I scanned my blog with PJ detector and to my horror discovered that I had not cracked any PJs for a long time. So I decided to go back to the theme called, “Picchhur, the Phillum”.

Readers may recall that some time in May there were a few stories on Gaurav’s blog as well as mine that discussed this concept. Now that we have decided that we are not going to do anything about it, I have decided to publish some of these stories. For people who are reading about this concept for the first time, let me explain in few words. It is or rather was a spoof that we had planned on Hindi movies and the predictable scenes in it.

So here are a few scenes that I am printing. I know that the claims that I made in the 2nd paragraph might sound hollow now, but then nobody is perfect.

Enjoy…

1.
The party has just begun. It is the usual party song where the hero moves around with hands in his pocket or nursing a glass of whiskey and singing about his sufferings due to the betrayal of heroine and how he is bravely taking it all without any complaints whatsoever etc. and the heroine moving around looking suitably crestfallen with the Mr. Nice Guy who will be giving up the heroine for the Hero’s sake or catch a bullet shot at the hero when he finds out the truth about the hero and heroine. Wow, what a long sentence! :-)
But this song is rather different. Our hero and heroine and Mr. Nice Guy are at the party looking very confused. There is another guy crowing about the agony of betrayal and another woman and her companion playing the parts of heroine and Mr. Nice Guy to perfection.

The hero finally gets sick of being confused and angrily accosts one of the important looking blokes there and asks with barely controlled fury,” What the hell is going on here? I thought we were supposed to sing a song here” The heroine and the Nice Guy vigorously nod their assent to the accusation. The bloke looks utterly uninterested in the proceeding. He informs them that those people were there first and have a right to have their song completed first.

By the time the song gets complete, the Nice Guy has come to know the truth and in the regrettable absence of any bullet shot at the hero has to satisfy himself to one rather small speech disclaiming that he is making any sacrifices and walks away with a smile on his face that fails to hide his misery. But just then, another girl who is walking away with a similar expression on her face bumps into him. They stare at each other and the Jodi is fixed. She, of course, is the female version of Mr. Nice Guy who has just sacrificed her love for some hero at another party.

2.
The hero is injured and lodged in the hospital. The red light outside the operation theatre is on and the parents and the heroine are eyeing it rather anxiously. A few nurses keep hurrying in and out of OR with trays or other such medical instruments. They refuse to answer any queries that the family has.
The music emphasizes the tension in the air. Finally the light goes off and the doctor comes out looking exhausted. The heroine immediately asks the doctor,” Kya Hua?”
The doctor looks irritated and states that the electricity has gone off and that has interrupted the operation. He is waiting for the generators to start.

3.
The sister and the mother and the heroine have been kidnapped and the villain informs the hero on the telephone and also gives him the details regarding the place where they have been kept. The hero makes some audacious plan through which he will rescue his relations. He may have a sidekick who is interested in his sister.
The hero reaches the place only to find that the police have already reached the place and have rounded up all the baddies.
The hero gets very angry. I mean how the hell can he prove his heroism if he doesn’t get an opportunity to display it? So he angrily grabs an inspector and demands the reason.
The inspector is looking ashamed of himself. He says with embarrassment that he reached the place rather early and had to round them up. He apologizes to the hero for being early and all of them leave.

I hope that you managed to survive them all.
Bye!!!

Posted 5:31 AM by The Consultant
Globe Explained

All of you must be familiar with the term "Globe" by now. Most of you must have read it on Gaurav's or Sunil's blog. This post presents an example of what it actually is:

Performance management

Purpose:
The purpose of the study is
·To understand the implications of the subject matter for Indian companies competing in an increasingly global scenario, examine the current practices and suggest improvements

·To make an inquiry into the subject matter and gain an understanding of the underlying practical intricacies for achieving managerial excellence in the future and acquisition of leadership tools

Objectives:
The Objectives of the study are as follows:
·Comparative study of various performance appraisal methodologies and suggestions for systems compatible with the post-globalization era

·Career planning and its implications vis-à-vis the organizational human resource management strategies

·Based on the findings suggest methods for achieving congruence between organizational objectives and career planning and management

Methodology:
The objectives of the study will be achieved through the following:
·Primary data generated through survey and questionnaires

·Consideration of relevant real life case studies

·Consideration of views expressed by experts in professional journals and books and other secondary sources

·Generated from above findings, a synthesis of the opinions and impressions formed by the group members



What it means:

"We will do something if we manage to find some time from our busy schedules."